I'll Have What He's Having: The Screenwriter's Diet

Tesco are now selling their own brand of instant noodles for 8p. Eight pence! Roughly converted into all the different currencies around the world, the price of this said snack is: 0 cents.

While most of us can stretch our wallets beyond the budget range of a supermarket’s own brand, let me just say that these Tesco noodles are darn right tasty, and are a slightly smaller portion (perfect) than regular, more familiar products.

Also, what I like about eating them is that there’s only one item of washing up: the bowl in which they’re made and consumed.

So, currently going down a storm in the Stack kitchen is the ‘Noodles with Anything Snack’. Here’s how it goes:

Crumble the pack of noodles into a bowl. Pour 200mls* of boiling water into the bowl and stir the sachet of flavouring that comes with the pack of noodles.

Place a square of kitchen towel over the bowl, put it in the microwave and nuke for one minute.

Stir.

Nuke for another minute.

You’re done. Eat immediately with a splash of soy sauce or Thai sweet chilli (yum-oh).

But wait!

Got any leftovers? Chicken, bacon, beef, pork, liver? Hell, there might be an herb lurking in the fridge too. Well don’t just sit there, chop ‘em up and mix them with the noodles.

Dee-licious. And simple. And quick. And no-washing up except for the bowl.


*I put in 300mls as I like a bit of sch-lurp with me noodle, and if you nuke the bowl for another 30secs/1min, the water dissolves anyway.

Noticeboard

“Everybody knows everything”.

It doesn’t have the same ring to it or the same amusing truth as William Goldman’s infamous quote about the business but in this day and age of screenwriting training, there is a wealth of knowledge and experience out there to be utilised and processed.

Reading one book on screenwriting and attending one course will probably give you all you need to know about the process - the rest is just interesting (and not-so-interesting) variations of the same techniques. Film audiences are very sophisticated and savvy as to what’s going on at the movies and this awareness has been turned up all the way to eleven with hopeful attempts at screenplays from Lewis to LA.

It is quite easy to get weary and jaded with all the books, courses (and blogs!). But while a lot of the books and courses are just easy ways of accessing your hard earned moolah, they do offer some valuable tips and info, and it’s a good way of making new contacts. Conversely, attending a course is a good way of invigorating your sense of attachment to your peers, as well as the biz, and can provide the right source of inspiration for that block you have on page 23.

So yes, examine a course’s credentials and assess the experience of the author’s career but one thing’s for sure, there’s enough support, encouragement, insight and experience to go around. Some of these might be of interest…

---

THE PITCHING WORKSHOP
Tuesday 4th April at the NPA (New Producers Alliance)

14.30 to 17.30
£25 Non Members £15 NPA Members
Essential advice for pitching your project successfully – full steam ahead to Cannes.

This session is designed to prepare you for pitching your project to producers, funders, distributors and sales agents. David will guide you through the Doís and Donít of making an approach, testing the water, making a pitch and closing. He will also help you work on necessary networking skills and methods of presenting yourself.

If you are planning to go to any of the winter festivals, particularly AFM or Sundance, it is important to work on your pitching skills. Rather than teaching you to perform one pitch, this event will show you how to learn what the subject wants, learn to distinguish opportunities and how to make every contact matter.

If you are planning to attend the Festival Marketing Materials, taking place this month, this session is an ideal partner.

---

Also at the NPA:
CANNES SURVIVAL SEMINAR
Tuesday 11th April
£5.50 NPA/Pact/Curzon Members
£6.50 Non members
ALL BOOKINGS SHOULD BE MADE THROUGH CURZON: 0870 756 4620
NPA in association with PACT & Curzon Soho

With Cannes just over 2 months away, this seminar will prepare you early for what to expect. All in all, Cannes Film Festival is an experience not to be missed. Meetings, receptions, parties, screenings and events, with so much going on, you really do need to make sense of it all. With this annual advice seminar, we will give you the low down on the festival and tell you how to get the most out of what should be one of the highlights of your film year.

Anita Lewton, Producer & Head of NPA Training and an experienced Cannes regular will be chairing the panel including Dan San, an independent producer and Cannes veteran, Jo Maurice, UK Film Council, and a sales agent.

---

Four Corners- Film and Media Continuing Professional Development-Open to those from the East London Area

If you would like to be considered for the forthcoming series of film and media continuing professional developments via Skillsbase i.e where we wish to encourage the promotion of talent to the film and media industry then do contact us.

Spaces are limited and it’s FREE! Call me for more details: Sahra at Fourcorners @ 0208 981 6111 or visit the website: Four Corners Film.

---

SELL YOUR SCRIPT
Sat 22nd April - Edinburgh

DATE: Saturday 22nd April. 10.00 am to 5.00 pm.
VENUE: St Columba's By The Castle Church Hall, Johnston Terrace, Edinburgh
COST: £65 (inc VAT and refreshments)
E-MAIL: info@meadkerr.com or call 0131 554 4539
WEB SITE: Mead Kerr

Award winning Writer and Director Adrian Mead presents another in his
acclaimed series of classes.

Every day overworked Film and TV execs, Agents and Commissioners receive an avalanche of scripts from new writers. Faced with the impossible task of reading them all, the first thing they reach for is the one page pitch document that should accompany the script. Of course you do always provide a highly professional and attention
grabbing, one page pitch document. Don't you?

The one page pitch doc is industry standard. Failing to provide one marks you as a poorly organised amateur and your script will hardly get a glance. A badly executed document instantly consigns your months of lovingly crafted work to the reject tray unread.

Presented by award winning writer and director Adrian Mead this class
teaches you how to grab the attention of the overworked reader and inspire them to pick up your script instead of your competitors.

Understand the function and writing of treatments. Banish forever the terrors of verbal pitching. If you are serious about getting your work noticed and breaking into the industry this is a class you cannot afford to miss.

---

Advanced Screenwriting with Richard Krevolin and Jeff Arch
London, 29-30 April 2006

Advanced Screenwriting is a special and unique 2-day event offering participants the rare opportunity to meet and learn from a master teacher (Professor Richard Krevolin – USC Film School) and an Academy Award nominated screenwriter (Jeff Arch – ‘Sleepless in Seattle’).

You will learn in a lively and interactive environment the fundamental principles, practical tips and little-known secrets behind writing dynamic dialogue, creating surprising plots, devising characters that come to life and surviving as a writer.

Further information on The Screenwriters’ Store, contact Johanna for enquiries and bookings: krevolin@TheSWS.com
Tel: 020 7261 1908

---

Arista Announces 3rd 2 day Business of Development Conference in London – 25th and 26th April 2006

Stephen Cleary of Arista Development says: "This is our third Business of
Development Conference, the only concentrated examination of Development in all its aspects undertaken within the UK industry. The past few years have
seen many changes in the way development is organised and undertaken. The time has come to take stock and measure progress. And Arista's new research, presented at the Conference, may make many people stop and think."

Reno Antionades of Lee & Thompson says: "We are delighted to be supporting the Business of Development conference again and are looking forward to providing some insight and solutions to the complex questions faced by producers when developing and financing feature films in an increasingly tough marketplace”.

To Book:
By phone - 020 7323 1775
By email - arista@aristotle.co.uk

The conference will take place at the Brunei Gallery, SOAS, Thornhaugh
Street, Russell Square, London WC1H 0XG

For more information please visit: Arista Development

---

Single Shot Short Film Competition – 11th April 2006
Single Shot: A film in one take or your take on Single Shot
Capture your idea in one single shot, or let the title capture your imagination!

Are you an artist or filmmaker? Is the film in you fighting to get out?
If you have a visual idea that you want to put before the widest possible audience, send it to us, and we can help you to make it. Set it free with Single Shot.

Single Shot provides fresh money for fresh talent to make exciting and innovative works for national distribution, and is being supported by Arts Council England and UK Film Council’s New Cinema Fund. Anyone with creative aspirations can submit material inspired by the concept of a Single Shot at any length between 15 seconds and 5 minutes.

Breaking out of cinemas and galleries and hitting the streets, the works will be shown across a range of new media platforms; from outdoor screens to bookshops, from coffee shops to websites, and from projections on buildings to mobile phones!

Whether you shoot from the hip on a digicam, grab it on a mobile phone or catch it via a webcam, we want to see it. Burn it to a disc and get it to us. We’ll then select the best and, with you as the director, post-produce it professionally ready for exhibition alongside other Single Shot works by established artists.

So download the form…. and fill it in.
Copy off your film and….
Send both your shot material and entry form to us
….before the deadline of 5pm, April 11th 2006.

For more info go to Single Shot

---

Coming Up

Coming Up is the only talent scheme currently in the UK where new film-makers have the opportunity to make an authored drama with a guaranteed network broadcast. The scheme is run by Channel 4 and IWC Media in partnership with Skillset. Coming Up is looking to make 8 challenging and individual films from the best new talent in the UK.

We'll be looking for bold ideas, strong voices, originality, ambition and wit. Each film will be for a ½ hour C4 slot and must: push boundaries in a way that wouldn’t / couldn’t be done in mainstream drama; be contemporary; be shot in 4 days on a limited budget; and be largely, but not exclusively, young and urban. The closing date for applications is 18 April 2006 – see the following links for more details:

Coming Up

More…

---

“Whoooo are you? Who-who-who-who…” (sing along with The Who)

Have had a few hate mails recently along the lines of ‘who the hell are you’ and ‘who do you think you are’ etc which is kind of surprising and disappointing but understandable too in a way, I guess. I know the support of the blog far outweighs any gnashing naysayer (thanks for the emails) but it’s always the one or two meanies that drag you down. So here’s what I’ve got to say to the doubters: poo to you.

It’s only a blog. It’s a place to share, cajole and encourage. It’s about screenwriting and yes, while my experience may be limited in terms of production and screen-credit, my passion and dedication to ‘script’ is what makes this blog tick, and I hope it’s useful to most of the visitors to the site, especially in the UK.

All constructive criticism welcome and appreciated (indeed, if you have a favourite/least favourite part of the posts then let me know; what you’d like to see more of/less of etc). This is post no. 164. And if you have to leave an anonymous comment, why not put a name down at the end anyway to show that you’re genuine. It really does help to validate your comments, whether they are good or bad. The comments section is switched off for today as I'm not trying to seek out undiluted praise but will return tomorrow.

Exciting times ahead. Opportunities, pitches, pilots, Cannes preparation, all that jazz. Am right in the middle of negotiating an option for my latest horror spec, Origin, with the proviso that I direct it as well. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Questions questions

And so the last days of March are upon us. A quarter of the year completed in a blink of an eye. It may not sound alarming or surprising to some but for a jobbing writer, it’s a scary reminder of just how fast time can go that can yield as little or as much success that fate will allow.

BBC Four had an interesting series about Time recently with string theory pioneer Michio Kaku. I only caught snippets of the series because it clashed with something else (Battlestar Galactica probably) but Mr Kaku had an interesting theory as to why ‘time goes so fast’.

It’s because of our daily routine. When we were younger, our childhood seemed endless and time ever-expansive because all our experiences were ‘new’, and so our brain had no compartment to qualify the passage of existence. But as we grow older and settle into our adult routine lives, our brains are able to identify and file our daily experiences into common occurrence, hence days, months and years being gobbled up by grand master Time.

All of this is an existential and grand way of saying: what have I achieved since the heady euphoria of New Year? It’s easy to slip into a routine that may or may not be conducive to a successful screenwriting year. Three months into 2006, it’s time to ask some questions. We all know the answers:

Has a new script been started?
If not, why not?
Has a script been finished?
If not, why not?
Has there been writing every day?
If not, why not?
Has there been a focused effort to research and brainstorm new ideas?
Have any new contacts been made?
Have any courses been attended?
Is there any that could actually be useful?
Has any money been made from writing?
Has any money been made at all?
Is it time to give up?
Is it time to increase the effort?
Is it all a deluded waste of time?
Is there a desire to write a story that has emotional meaning?
Is there enough knowledge, experience and insight into life to support this emotional meaning?
Or is there just a desire to write popcorn films (emotional and popcorn movies not being mutually exclusive of course)?
Has more progress been made since this time last year?
Does the writing show any talent and promise?
Really?
Then, what's next?

Script Versus Film: The Grudge

I read this script in September 2003. Written by newcomer Stephen Susco, I thought it was a fine genre horror that crackled along with a good sense of shock and surprise. It had its flaws but it was a very good script. When I went to see it at the cinema, I was distinctly disappointed as the flaws blemished the experience when, in script form, they were easy to overlook (which is uncommon, but what do I know?).

Here’s my logline: “An American nurse working in Tokyo has a ghastly experience when a routine house call reveals the horror and murder of the previous occupants.”

And here’s my brief: “A cross between “The Ring” and “Dark Water”, this still has enough suspense and scares to suggest that it could provide some dough at the box office.”

My comments below (spoilers for those who haven’t seen it yet):

“This is based on the trilogy of Asian horror films – “Ju-on” – by director Takashi Shimizu, and essentially, the premise follows the reliable route of successful Asian horror films, i.e. person/persons being haunted by a woman with long dark hair, dark black eyes, and who has a bad habit of appearing out of nowhere.

The recent American remake of “The Ring” showed that this premise had the potential and appeal to win audiences over at the box office, and while “The Grudge” follows a similar pattern to “The Ring”, there’s enough scare and suspense in the flick to suggest that it might bring in similar cash to its predecessor. In truth, “The Grudge” is like a combination of “The Ring” and “Dark Water” (another Asian horror along similar lines) as it involves being haunted by a woman with long dark hair but also uses a mysterious young boy to add to the supernatural mix.

In “The Grudge”, the plot focuses on Karen, an American nurse, as she comes across the supernatural entities during a routine house call and after the backstory is partly explained to spooky effect, Karen spends the remainder of the film trying to uncover the secret of the ghosts and their reasons for murder.

The plot takes a non-linear approach to its structure and almost goes backwards in its chronology to detail the murders and events that have led up to the present day. This is quite a distinctive and effective style, and the pace and structure work well over the course of the first 60 pages or so. It starts with the apparent suicide of Peter (this happens in the past), then introduces Karen the American nurse (the present) and after she gets her first experience of the Woman with Long Dark Hair, the narrative doubles back on itself to present the fate of the American family who live in the house (the past).

This works well because it keeps the tension and scare tactics at a good level, and consequently the pace crackles along to a good sense of horror and doom. However, after the narrative details the supernatural shenanigans of the past, its switch back to the present heralds a slight dip in form. The story becomes unnecessarily complicated and messy as it tries to reveal the reasons why Kayako is on her ghostly murderous spree, and Karen’s determination to unravel the whole mystery came across as far too unlikely and contrived.

As a result, there doesn’t seem to be any point to the story beyond its desire to scare the audience and the story lacks an emotional heart or purpose. No matter really, as the plot provides slick entertainment that should make audiences gasp with horror and surprise. Some of the spooky elements become a bit repetitive or predictable but they are all handled in an assured manner which gives them a certain edge and effectiveness.

Because the narrative jumps around with its structure and time line, the script doesn’t spend a lot of time with Karen, the protagonist, and her role and involvement towards the latter stages of the film weren’t entirely necessary or justified. Still, her character functions as a conduit for the audience to get involved in the story because she’s an American abroad who has to deal with a foreign land and strange events in a spooky household.

Karen’s relationship with Doug is a limp device to add an emotional element to their characterisation and situation, and it’s only a perfunctory inclusion so that there can be some justification for Karen and Doug’s behaviour at the end. The end becomes convoluted and silly – the actual ‘grudge’ is a bit disappointing and confusing – but the slick portrayal of the suspense and horror suggests that there’s enough here to make its mark at the box office, and could provide a tidy return.”

Ten-Year Plan

Of course, no-one likes their work being rejected. Once a script hits fade out, the hope and expectation is always that someone, somewhere will recognise the obvious talent behind the words. In this case, a good script can do one of three things: act as a reliable writing sample, create the opportunity of an option/development fee or at the very least grant a meeting with the suitably impressed producer/script editor/tea boy.

However, while this ideal sounds fairly basic and straightforward, it takes time and momentum to get to the stage where your work can be favourably received and considered. In theory, anyone from a child to an old age pensioner can write a script over the weekend and get their career off the ground but in reality, it takes a lot more toil and energy to write something that will be remotely of interest to a tired and cynical script reader.

MA courses in screenwriting are all the rage now and for the most part, they offer great value and experience in producing a variety of work and in studying the craft of screenwriting. However, in my experience with the MA course in Leeds Metropolitan University, many of the students assumed automatic success or a jump start to their careers once they graduated.

Every time this assumption raised its misguided head, I tried to lay down the practicalities and realities involved in getting a writing career off the ground but you could see them dismissing the thought in their eyes as if it didn’t apply to them. One student said: “This course is so hard. We have all these projects to write. Six, seven on the go. It won’t be like this in the real world; I’ll be working on one project at a time and building my career”. I tried to tell him that the reality is you’ll be desperate to have six, seven projects on the go, and would be living on tenterhooks if you only had one project to rely on (unless it’s a guaranteed amount of eps on a soap or a handsome development fee).

The commonly referenced amount of time to ‘make it’ as a screenwriter is that it’ll take ten years to get your career up and running. Ten years seems like an awfully long time for little or no return on a screenwriting vision. But after six years of living the dream, I can understand and relate to the ten-year plan with a more experienced and appreciative eye.

For the first four years, I spent a lot of time focusing on study: reading thousands of scripts, devouring everything in my screenwriting path, immersing myself in screenplay culture. This study was combined with the hard graft of getting scripts written and forging relevant contacts to advance my career. I managed to option a couple of my scripts and this felt good but hardly reassuring for my bank balance. My break came when I was accepted on to Doctors (two years ago) and then later that year, I won the BBC Tony Doyle award.

Even with this limited success, it feels like that the experience thus far has been my apprenticeship and only now does my career start in earnest. Basically, the work and development I’m busy with now is what I wanted/expected to be doing five/six years ago. Choosing a screenwriting career is not an easy life. Overnight success takes years to accumulate. Rejection awaits your work on every submission. Confidence takes a regular battering and an energetic social life, and the income to support it, quickly goes out the window. An interest becomes an obsession and the obsession becomes the career. Or at least, that’s the plan…

Jimmy McGovern, TV writer God, is interviewed by Media Guardian (free registration required). Check out his CV and timespan at the end...

Noticeboard

The screenwriting moons must have aligned in a peculiar fashion this week with just about everyone I know having a miserable time with rejection, disappointing news and/or illness. Take a moment to vent: Pants. Bugger. Godammit. *@*! Sucker. Poo.

Right, now on with the show…

---

Registrations with the 2006 Marché du Film are now open!

The Marché du Film of Cannes will be held from May 17 to 27, 2006.
This year, you can register only on-line thanks to a new easier system.

You can register yourself now directly on Marche Du Film.

You have to register before April 14th to be in the Market Guide.

Download the Marché du Film brochure.

---

Linda Segar - What Hollywood Wants - 1 April 2006

To create a commercially successful film, a writer needs to know about four elements: the creative, the artistic, the craft, and commerciality. In this seminar, Linda will look at these elements and how they relate to a great script that is viable, both critically and commercially.

Dr Linda Seger has given seminars for studios, networks, production companies, television series and film commissions. Since 1981 she has consulted on over 2,000 projects for both television and feature films. She is included in The World Who's Who of Women and has appeared on over forty radio and television shows.

Don't miss this opportunity to find out how to write for – and sell to – the Hollywood market.

Tickets £90. Held at RADA, Malet St, London WC1E 7JN. All classes run from 10am-5pm (9.30am registration). Book now at RADA Box Office 020 7908 4800.

For more information: Scriptwriter Magazine

For queries: Janice Day on 07748 652 194

---

Channel 4's Coming Up

Coming Up is the only talent scheme currently in the UK where new film-makers have the opportunity to make an authored drama with a guaranteed network broadcast. The scheme is run by Channel 4 and IWC Media in partnership with Skillset.

The strand is looking to make 8 challenging and individual films from the best new talent in the UK. We'll be looking for bold ideas, strong voices, originality, ambition and wit.

Each film will be for a ½ hour C4 slot and must: push boundaries in a way that wouldn’t / couldn’t be done in mainstream drama; be contemporary; be shot in 4 days on a limited budget; and be largely, but not exclusively, young and urban. The closing date for applications is 18 April 2006 – see the following links for more details:

Coming Up

More…

---

Guru John Truby in town, but hurry...

One of Hollywood's leading story consultants, the filmmaker and writer John Truby, is coming to London this weekend to explain why 3 Act Story Struture is obsolete. His ground breaking weekend masterclass 22 STEP STORY STRUCTURE is on March 25/26 and there are still eight places remaining (they may be snapped up now but you never know).

For details on the class, click here.

Truby also believes that a thorough understanding of genre is the key to creating and selling a commercially viable script. John is presenting a special one day class UNDERSTANDING GENRE on Monday March 27th 9-30 - 5:30.
Registrations at Raindance: 0207 287 3833.

If you'd like to read the article WHY THREE ACT STORY STRUCTURE WILL KILL YOU, click here.

---

Rocliffe New Writing Forums

Rocliffe are currently accepting scripts for the winter season 2005
Rocliffe New Writing Forums commencing in September with Cameron McCracken from Pathé. For an application form email scripts@rocliffe.com or from the web.

There is no charge to submit a script but you must submit a hard copy with an application form.

---

Raindance Film Festival Opens For Submissions

Hard to believe, but it's that time of year again. Time for us to start accepting entries for this year's festival.

Festival dates have been set for 27 September to 8 October, and we'll be taking submissions from now until July 1st.

Whether you have a short, a feature, a music video, a documentary or a kids film, we'll happily consider it - to find the submission form, along with the rules and regulations, please click below.

Click here for details.

---

Have a great weekend.

New Tax System for UK Film

From BBC News:

“Oscar-winning British film The Constant Gardener probably would not have been made in the UK under new funding rules, its producer has said.

A revamped film tax system, unveiled in Chancellor Gordon Brown's Budget, will come into force on 1 April.

Producer Simon Channing-Williams said there was "a very strong chance" The Constant Gardener would not be made if it was being financed now.

But the government said the changes would be better for the film industry.
The new rules say British films will no longer be able to claim tax relief on money spent overseas.

The government says this is essential to bring the UK in line with European Union law.

But some producers fear it may mean British movies that need to be filmed abroad will no longer be able to raise enough money.

Much of the Constant Gardener - which won the Oscar for best supporting actress for its star Rachel Weisz - was filmed in Kenya, Germany and Canada.

Mr Channing-Williams, who also produces Mike Leigh's films, said he believed money spent in those locations would not qualify under the new rules.

Andrea Calderwood, managing director of production company Slate Films and vice chair of film at producers' trade body Pact said she was "concerned" about the effect of EU regulations.

They "may seriously endanger the prospects for British and European productions, while giving maximum tax advantages to US studio productions", she said.

"We are sure this is not the effect that either the UK government or the EU intend and we hope to work constructively and urgently with them to address this anomaly."
But Pact welcomed the chancellor's move to give 20% tax credit to films with budgets under £20m and 16% for more expensive blockbusters.

"The new tax credit should provide a real benefit to producers, which clearly reflects the government's commitment to the sustainable production of British films," Ms Calderwood said.

Films will now be required to spend at least 25% of their budgets in the UK to qualify for tax relief - down from the proposed 40%.

That will mean more films are eligible for the subsidy, according to the UK Film Council - giving Hollywood a bigger incentive to make movies in Britain.

UK Film Council chief executive John Woodward said: "Today's announcement by the chancellor is good news for the British film industry and makes the UK an attractive place to make films.

"It provides the certainty the industry needs to operate and will help the UK consolidate its position as the most important film industry in the world after the US."

A spokesman for the Treasury said: "We think the new reliefs are a well-targeted replacement for the old system of reliefs.

"They continue to deliver very generous levels of support but are now targeted directly at film-makers, therefore providing better value for money for UK taxpayers and at the same time guaranteeing the sustainable production of culturally British films."

The system of film tax relief was changed because the government said investors were abusing the old regime."

Writing and Ego

The film business thrives on ego and the allure of the big screen, and in particular, seeing your name up in lights. This especially applies to actors and directors. Writers on the other hand seem to be a much more reserved bunch, (dis)content with an isolated existence in their rooms with their computer and iPod, occasionally getting out to the pub to grumble to themselves in the corner.

But writing is an egotistical exercise in itself - having the will and desire to express stories to an audience more than one implies that writers think they have something interesting, entertaining or valuable to say, or possibly all three. Well then if that’s the case, ego’s a good thing.

A writer’s particular ego is probably borne out of an enthusiasm for storytelling and how other people’s stories affected them when they were younger and how they want to translate that feeling into their own work for others to enjoy.

This ego, ergo, is passion - the positive side to an indulgent personality. The dark side of ego is superficial celebs and talentless hacks just wanting everyone to love them for no good reason other than they’re on TV or have a part in a film or have written a three-act rip-off of the latest Hollywood blockbuster.

But ego’s a funny old thing, isn’t it? On one level, it is a writer’s passion and friend as it helps them through the rocky patches of uncertainty and rejection but on the other it’s a deluded mentor who continually urges writers to plough on regardless, ignoring the clear and present danger that they may have no talent whatsoever.

Like an animated germ in a toilet-advert, it’s possible to flush this delusional mentor away for good. Writers should remind themselves of their passion and commitment, and that other people have already validated their work (at some stage) so even though the rejections keep coming in, their writing doesn’t stink. On the contrary, something’s going to stick, real soon. The delusional mentor doesn’t really exist, it’s just a nagging sense of doubt that can easily be flicked away when they take stock of progress made and what’s been achieved so far.

Other people’s opinions might savage or critique a writer’s work, and this kind of criticism is difficult not to take personally (“I wrote it, of course it’s personal!”) but to stop writing at the face of such analysis is counterproductive to that burning ego and passion that rages within. If a living can’t be made as a writer, it certainly shouldn’t stop the need and desire to write anyway. No-one can tell anyone not to write.

Ego rules and ego rocks. Listen to ego, it sings a good tune.

Comedy Lab

Channel 4’s Comedy Lab is now in its seventh year. I was lucky enough to be part of C4’s entertainment department at the time of the Lab’s inception and launch in 1999. It’s proved to be an extremely successful strand, if not entirely high-profile, and has launched the successful careers of many of Britain’s leading comedians (Peter Kay, Dom Joly, Jimmy Carr). The invite for applications for this year have yet to be announced but now’s the time to start thinking about any potential project that you think might make a good Comedy Lab.

Essentially, the programmes are comedy pilots to embrace new and exciting talent: to see if the particular situation in the pitched sitcom is engaging or if the comedy performer in question suits the format given to him (panel show, stand-up, sitcom, off-the-wall etc).

"Cutting-edge", daring and alternative ideas are very much encouraged, although there is a lot to be said for standard formats like panel shows and sitcoms. Animation might get a look in but no-one's ever sure about animation so they generally try to steer clear. It would really have to be very good indeed.

While the brief is very much focused on comedy performers and writing talent, it is with the former that proposals will gain more favour. In addition, proposals that come with a production company already attached will have more of a chance than an individual/lone writer submission. And a production company with a proven track record, or a regular comedy supplier to the channel, will also be more favourably assessed than other wannabe proposals.

Production companies to consider and approach include Hat Trick, TalkBack Thames, Objective Productions and Absolutely Productions. There are many others but these would be a good start. Ask to speak to a comedy producer (get their name preferably beforehand), chat to an assistant and get the lowdown on what they might be interested in and what they want. Send your proposal and wait for their reaction. Now’s the time to do this as everything inevitably takes longer than you expect so getting the ball rolling sooner rather than later will be a plus.

To check out last year’s comedy brief, follow the LINK, then click on ‘Commissioning’, then the ‘Comedy’ section. For some reason, the direct link to this page doesn’t work.

UK TV specs

Dan Owen recently got in touch with a few q’s about writing TV drama in the UK and I thought it might be useful to share the exchange on the blog.

1. US vs UK.

If you write a TV drama spec script for the UK, should you follow the template of US hour-long drama? They have 1 teaser and 5 acts, structured around their ad breaks. However, the UK has less ad breaks and (if it's on the BBC) don't have ANY!

I have heard many different opinions on this question. Some say treat the hour like a movie and split it into 3 acts, some say you should have a teaser with 4 acts, other say 5 acts.

So what would YOU say is the best way to go?

A: For the UK market, it's best to write an original spec script of your own idea and characters (whether it be feature or TV script) as this is what producers and script editors like to read in order to judge the writer's talents.

In the US, it is commonly accepted that writers should write a spec episode of the show they want to work on and if you do that, you better make sure that you write to the particular style and structure of the series (teaser, four acts or whatever).

An hour of US time is only 42 minutes while an hour of UK time is 50 mins, or sometimes 60 mins if it's on the BBC (depending or not whether they want to sell it internationally, then they'll make it 50 mins so other broadcasters can fit in adverts around the hour slot).

If you want to write a spec script of, say, Dr Who, then my advice would be to study the existing shows back to front. Denis at Dead Things on Sticks has terrific advice on writing spec scripts, including "listening" to the show, not watching it. I’ve lost the direct link to the articles but they’re there…. Anyway, if you do write an ep of Dr Who, make sure to follow the style and structure as much as you can but still sticking to your original voice and talents because ultimately that's what they want to see.


2. Page Counts

Continuing from the question above, what is the accepted page count for Acts in the UK? Many US TV scripts are 50-odd pages long in total - spread in chunks of 10-15 pages per Act. Is that acceptable for the UK market? If not, how many pages per Act should you be aiming for?

A: About 15-20 pages sounds about right for each act. It varies from show to show. The West Wing for example runs to about 80-90 pages in total because it's so dialogue driven while other shows will be 40-50 pages that can be split into standard 10-15 mins segments. But it all depends on format too.

EastEnders and Doctors for example have specific formats that make their half hour duration run into 50/60 pages of script (Doctors has a standard ‘word count’ too: “a typical episode would consist of around 32-36 scenes - approximately 60 pages or approximately 6,800 words).


2. Formatting

I have recently been reading some scripts for Lost. It's a great show and I was interested in how they wrote their scripts. I recommend you take a look, if you haven't already, because I found them to be really enjoyable reads - even having seen the episodes already!

However... the Lost scripts completely break many "rules" I've had drummed into me about writing screenplays. Basically, they describe character's thoughts all the time and generally lead the actors and director by the hand with lots of camera directions and spell out the subtext. They even underline and capitalize stuff. A LOT!

Now, I know giving camera/actor directions like this IS acceptable when writing for TV in the US -- because writers have all the power, etc -- but should a UK spec script follow the same rules?

Personally, I know people say camera directions and suchlike distance
readers from scripts... but I actually find them more enjoyable and easier to totally enter the writers' imagination and visualize the events they want to see onscreen. Maybe I have a lazy directing side to my personality!

Anyway, it just strikes me that other TV scripts read very dry and bland when compared to the Lost scripts. The capitals and underlining also break the the "mundaneness" of a script, imo. I subconsciously devour pages because I can see in my peripheral vision that something REALLY EXCITING is going to happen because the capitals are waiting below!! ;-)

So, when writing a UK TV drama spec script... should you forget the
camera/actor directions and just write them as you would a conventional film script?

A: I think it's fairly impossible to write a script without writing what a character is thinking at some stage, the thing is not to over do it or make it feel over-literary.

Underline or capitals don't bother me when I'm reading a script but if they're overdone, then it's a turn-off. "Lost" does it well because ultimately, they're telling a riveting story and when that happens, format doesn't matter squat.

You've also got knowledge of the show and the characters, so you're reading the script with some appreciation already attached. Spec scripts don't have this luxury so my advice is feel free to use characters' thoughts and underlining, capitalising and even camera angles but make sure that they're inherent to the story, i.e. the script could not possibly be told in any other way in a dramatic and entertaining sense, and the reader won't even notice that the so called 'rules' being broken.

Noticeboard

An early round-up this week as I’m up to London today and I’m taking the day off tomorrow because it’s Saint Patrick’s Day, which merrily coincides with payday, so expect the usual stereotypes and clichés out of me. Aye, begorrah, to be sure. “Beannachtai na Feile Padraig” (say it with me: bann/ockt/tee nah fayl/eh pawd/rig). Or “Happy St Patrick’s Day” to those who’re willing and able to drown the shamrock over the weekend (come on the Irish, beat England at the rugby!).

***
DeMontfort University Leicester Open Day – THURSDAY 30th APRIL -400pm-6.00pm.
Come along & meet the tutors and check out what’s on offer on this unique course in Television Scriptwriting.

This term guests include Mervyn Watson (BBC Executive Producer Casualty)) Tony Wood Head of Mersey TV) & Sarah Bagshaw (Emmerdale scriptwriter) plus a visit to the set of BBC hit series ‘Doctors’.

Check it out at Demontfort University
Phone 0116 250 6179

email hsspgrad@dmu.ac.uk
---
Middlesex University and Museum in Docklands are collaborating to run a 10 week Screenwriting for Beginners workshop.

Learn how to write film stories with screenwriter and playwright James Martin Charlton.

You will learn the basic tools and practical tips for becoming a screenwriter in this 10 week introductory course from 6.30pm - 8pm every Wednesday starting 5 April 2006 at Museum in Docklands, West India Quay, London E14 4AL.

Advanced booking required (25 places)
Fee: UKP 175 (concs UKP 95) - 10% Discount for Shooters.
Phone 020 8411 5737 for further information
Email j.charlton@mdx.ac.uk with enquiries.
---

Robert McKee’s Story Seminar comes to London again on 28-30 April 2006.

“ROBERT McKEE is the most widely known and respected screenwriting teacher in the world. Portrayed in the Oscar-nominated hit "ADAPTATION," callled "the most influential storytelling theorist since Aristotle" in the Guardian's 2006 Academy Awards special coverage, and interviewed by "60 Minutes" correspondent Bob Simon for CBS News' Sunday Morning 2005 Academy Awards Special, McKee's sold-out Story Seminars teach the essential principles of screenwriting and story design that studios, production companies and publishers demand from their writers.”

---

Don’t forget to check Robin Kelly’s blog for regular news, updates and opportunities.

And don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about “I’ll Have What He’s Having: The Screenwriter’s Diet” but here’s good old Bill Cunningham with a tasty chorizo recipe to whet your appetite… Enjoy!

The System

Well, with a little nudge to the script editors in question, I got my rejection from the BBC this morning. Here’s what they said: “Huge apologies for the delay in responding to your submission - we were slightly overwhelmed by the number of pitches that came in (over 2,000!), so it's been taking far longer than we originally anticipated to get back to everyone. I can inform you, however, that we have now decided on the final short-list and I'm afraid that your pitches haven't been successful on this occasion. We are trying to respond personally to everyone who submitted an idea, however, so you should receive a letter from us in the next few days.”

As a writer, and as a new writer especially, constant rejection of your work inevitably leads to indignation and frustration that the system is all wrong. ‘How can I get a TV commission if I don’t have an agent - how can I get an agent if I don’t have a TV commission?’ ‘The script reader clearly missed the point, what was he, twelve?’ ‘This is heaps better than most of the stuff I’ve read on-line, are they nuts?’

A not-so reassuring thought: it doesn’t get any easier when you get an agent or when you get your first commission. Everything gets harder. However, while the frustration and disdain for ‘the system’ may well be justified on some occasion, and it’s certainly flawed, inevitably it exists to protect itself from the talentless hacks that make a lot of noise (empty vessels and so on, those who threaten lawsuits/violence), and to leave that tiny gap of opportunity open to those who really can write. It may not seem like it but y’know, the system does work.

Take for example Paul Farrell’s journey from submitting a spec script to the BBC writersroom right through to writing a commissioned episode of Silent Witness.

A couple of years ago I read a spec script for Miramax which I was very taken with. It was a low-budget UK comedy-drama but it was original, warm and funny, and not without a delicious dark streak. It’s one of the handful of scripts that I’ve given a double recommendation (Writer: Recommend, Script: Recommend).

Luckily, with only slightly less enthusiasm, the exec agreed with my assessment and called the writers in for a meeting. He pointed them in the direction of ICM, bigtime agents. And then, I believe, ICM said we love the script but we need to see more. “What else have you got?” The writers went away to write another script with the promise of high level agent interest. I don’t know what’s happened to them but both the exec and I sat back with some satisfaction: the system worked.

And I suppose, on a personal level, the system has worked for me too. Optimistic Reader asked about my script that won the BBC Tony Doyle award and how it’s developing, and I’ll talk about that at more length soon, but before all that, the script served me well in getting meetings and nabbing my agent.

I started script reading in 1999 and I read like a maniac. Night and day. Ten scripts a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less, sometimes books too. The whole point was to read what was out there, recognise what was good and bad, and raise the quality of my writing to the highest professional level. By 2003, I had written a couple of good scripts but now I felt I had to write something that was original and expressed my voice clearly. I wanted to write a good sample script that demonstrated I could create an interesting situation and setting, and take the characters on an emotional and dramatic journey. So I wrote ‘Run For Home’ (the script that would win me that Tony Doyle award).

It’s a low-concept domestic drama that I never expected to get made but would hopefully get some attention because of the writing. And it did. It impressed my agent enough, along with my other work, to want to take me on, and the script was a good sample to get me in the door of Doctors. It’s proved a solid and reliable sample ever since, and after winning the Tony Doyle award, I've been lucky enough to have it optioned by Parallel Films, one of Ireland’s leading production companies (they just produced Breakfast on Pluto), and with hunky Irish actor Liam Cunningham attached to star.

By the way, winning the Tony Doyle award was an extremely close call between two other terrific scripts, one by Ruth McCracken and the other by Martin O’Brien. I was particularly envious of Ruth’s writing and thought her script was sure to be the winner (we were given the shortlisted scripts before the award ceremony) but Liam Cunningham was on the jury and championed Run for Home all the way, er, home. Coincidentally, I wrote it with Liam in mind but had no idea he was going to be on the jury. But that’s another story.

Looking back on the whole experience thus far I can safely say this: the system works. So don’t give up and don’t take no for an answer. Keep writing. Constantly improve the quality of your work. Be professional and dedicated. The system will recognise your efforts soon enough. It may be 2036 before they do so but hey, the system might work but it’s not perfect…right?

BBC Directors' Academy

Apparently, the BBC received about 3,000 submissions for their Summer Evening Play slot while CBBC's recent invite for one-page ideas received about 500 hopefuls. I got a rejection for the CBBC pitch but I've yet to hear about the Evening Play. I'm told they've made up a shortlist so I expect my rejection any day now...

Following on from last year's Writing Academy initiative, the BBC have now opened up a scheme for new Directors. Although, the course is three weeks long rather than the Writing Academy's one year programme. Details below:


BBC Continuing Drama Series - Directors' Academy 2006 Ref. 81021

Organisation: BBC Location: Central London
Date posted: 13 Mar 06
Closing date: 30 Mar 06


Job description

BBC Drama is launching a major new training initiative for 12 trainee directors that will entail classroom training, studio trailing and mentoring from some of the country's best directors. The academy will also cover instruction in all aspects of television production, and actual directing experience with the aim of offering successful graduates freelance directing contracts on our flagship shows. The course will take place over three weeks in June.

If you have had substantial production experience, had your directing work broadcast on television or radio, produced for the screen, or performed professionally in the theatre then please apply now! You'll need to send evidence of your work with your application.

London, three weeks' training

Applications to be received by 30 March.

Pace

Sometimes, there is too much talk about structure. In open-discussions and private seminars and debates down the pub, it’s discussed like it holds the answers to struggling screenplays everywhere. There is no denying that structure is the essential concrete of a script’s story but there is another equally important consideration that is never given as much weight or consideration: Pace. Structure’s little sister.

While the demands and the deliverance of the three-act structure are difficult to apply without everyone jumping at your story with a meat-cleaver, the use of pace and momentum is often overlooked because a writer will invariably convince himself that “the structure’s there”, so everything else must be working. Yes, the structure may very well “be there” but that doesn’t mean anything is working at all.

As we’ve previously discussed, it’s easy to set up and build a story around the basic three-act template but it’s better to try to defy expectation and avoid predictability at every stage. A script written to the design of the template rather than the intentions of the writer, and the organic needs of the story, becomes a blueprint and that’s when criticisms and problems occur for writers everywhere.

Robert McKee has some insightful words on the “pace, rhythm and tempo” of a screenplay (pages 289-294 for those with the book at hand). He says: “Pace begins in the screenplay. Cliché or not, we must control rhythm and tempo. It needn’t be a symmetrical swelling of activity and shaving of scene lengths, but progressions must be shaped.” Pace, rhythm and tempo, the austere triumvirate of a script’s momentum.

The well-known advice for pacing is generally accepted as: “start your scenes as late as possible and end them as early as you can”. This is good advice but taken far too literally at times. What it means is that you don’t want to bore the reader/audience with any unnecessary moment of screen time. What it doesn’t mean is that you should make all of your scenes one or two pages long.

Who was it that said no scene in a script should be more than three pages? It really is maddening and misleading advice. Perhaps it’s applicable in the US spec market as you want your script to zip along with a breeze and energy that will gain you some favour but in terms of film and the cinematic experience, this actual pacing won’t last for a second in the editor’s cutting room.

Pacing is about variety, not speed and economy. Yes, action sequences and short transitional scenes are all very much needed but time spent with the characters and understanding their motives and behaviour is also a must. And sometimes, these scenes go on for more than three minutes - hell, they should go on for as long as they’re required.

Ultimately, it comes down to a writer’s choice about how effectively he thinks he’s telling his story (or she, a lot of he’s in there). Hopefully this will be the case rather than a writer thinking that she has followed the accepted rules and regulations of screenplay to the letter, and therefore convincing herself that she’s got a polished and presentable script.

While screenplay is so much about format and regulation, story is about emotion and gut reaction and it’s this above all that writers everywhere should focus on in gnashing over whether a story works or not. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big advocate of specific screenwriting technique. I love pace and structure, and like to think that it’s a particularly strong area for me, but I try to not let the accepted fundamentals get in the way of telling the emotion and heart of the story. Start late, finish early? Let it go man (but make it interesting and dramatic rather than dull and indulgent).

Screenwriter's Noticeboard

Thought it might be useful to start a new thread where, at the end of the week, I’d post up various bits and pieces of news, courses and funding etc that might be of interest. Robin Kelly’s excellent blog already does this to some extent on a daily basis - he keeps track of who and what is out there (competitions, courses etc), so it’d be good to check his out regularly for anything that slips by here. With that in mind, if you think I’ve missed something or indeed you have something that you'd like pointed out, just get in touch.

***

Arista’s Romantic Comedy Weekend
22-23rd March 2006
@ Soho House, 21 Old Compton Street, London W1D 5JJ

"This workshop is one of our most popular and successful. The feedback from participants over the past couple of years has led me to revise it extensively. I particularly wanted to look at the most modern, dry indie manifestation of the Romantic Comedy, which in the past few years has taken what was starting to look like a tired genre and given it a real kick.

I'm sure some people would say that Lost in Translation or Eternal Sunshine.... are not Romantic Comedies. All I would say is come to this workshop and see what you think after two days of diving deep into this fascinating genre."
Stephen Cleary, Director, Arista Development

Price: GBP250 (inc. VAT)
(Arista Development)

***
Application forms and guidance notes are now available online for Microwave, Film London's micro-budget feature film fund. The exciting new scheme challenges film-makers to shoot a full length film for up to £75,000 with the option of raising additional in-kind support taking the budget to a maximum of £100,000. The scheme will provide an intensive approach to film-making, with an emphasis on tightly focused scripts, short production schedules and commercial potential.. We will be looking for distinctive stories with a strong resonance that will give audiences a fresh perspective on contemporary British film-making. The first deadline for applications is 5pm on Friday 30 June 2006.

***

Channel 4, ITN and BRITDOC have teamed up to create a new documentary competition for emerging film-makers, with winning entries broadcast on Channel 4 and screened at the inaugural Britdoc 2006 documentary festival. ITN is offering free use of its archive, which contains over 700,000 hours of footage dating back from 1896 to the present day. Entrants should prepare a pitch for a 3 minute documentary on the theme The Bicycle, using inspiration from the archives. The four best ideas will be commissioned by Channel 4 and broadcast in its 3 Minute Wonder slot. The film-makers will also be invited as guests to the first BRITDOC festival where the films will be screened. Further information can be found here.

***

So You Want to Make a Low Budget Movie?
(The do’s and don’ts of micro budget feature filmmaking in the digital age)
Saturday 25th: 10.00 – 17.00
Sunday 26th: 11.00 – 16.00 (Remember to put your clock forward!)
NPA Film Centre, 1.07 The Tea Building, 56 Shoreditch High Street, London, E1 6JJ
£150 – Non Members/ £110 – NPA Members

Louis Melville’s co-producer of the award winning The Last Horror Movie presents his how to make a low budget film course a step by step guide to the making and selling of low budget films including a list of international sales agents who sell lower budget films the course deals with pre-production, production post production, finance and selling of low budget films all the does and don'ts in a one weekend course.

***

Single Shot Short Film Competition – 11th April 2006
Single Shot: A film in one take or your take on Single Shot
Capture your idea in one single shot, or let the title capture your imagination!

Are you an artist or filmmaker? Is the film in you fighting to get out?
If you have a visual idea that you want to put before the widest possible audience, send it to us, and we can help you to make it. Set it free with Single Shot.

Single Shot provides fresh money for fresh talent to make exciting and innovative works for national distribution, and is being supported by Arts Council England and UK Film Council’s New Cinema Fund. Anyone with creative aspirations can submit material inspired by the concept of a Single Shot at any length between 15 seconds and 5 minutes.

Breaking out of cinemas and galleries and hitting the streets, the works will be shown across a range of new media platforms; from outdoor screens to bookshops, from coffee shops to websites, and from projections on buildings to mobile phones!

Whether you shoot from the hip on a digicam, grab it on a mobile phone or catch it via a webcam, we want to see it. Burn it to a disc and get it to us. We’ll then select the best and, with you as the director, post-produce it professionally ready for exhibition alongside other Single Shot works by established artists.


For more info go to Single Shot.

***

SELL YOUR SCRIPT
Sat 22nd April - Edinburgh

DATE: Saturday 22nd April. 10.00 am to 5.00 pm.
VENUE: St Columba's By The Castle Church Hall, Johnston Terrace, Edinburgh
COST: £65 (inc VAT and refreshments)
E-MAIL: info@meadkerr.com or call 0131 554 4539
WEB SITE: Mead Kerr

Award winning Writer and Director Adrian Mead presents another in his
acclaimed series of classes.

Every day overworked Film and TV execs, Agents and Commissioners receive an avalanche of scripts from new writers. Faced with the impossible task of reading them all, the first thing they reach for is the one page pitch document that should accompany the script.

Of course you do always provide a highly professional and attention
grabbing, one page pitch document. Don't you?

The one page pitch doc is industry standard. Failing to provide one marks you as a poorly organised amateur and your script will hardly get a glance. A badly executed document instantly consigns your months of lovingly crafted work to the reject tray unread.

Presented by award winning writer and director Adrian Mead this class
teaches you how to –

Grab the attention of the overworked reader and inspire them to pick up your script instead of your competitors.

Understand the function and writing of treatments.

Banish forever the terrors of verbal pitching.

If you are serious about getting your work noticed and breaking into the industry this is a class you cannot afford to miss.

As this is a highly focused and practical day numbers will be limited. Book early to avoid disappointment.

***

Script Versus Film: The Matador

The whole purpose of the ‘Script Versus Film’ series is to compare the experience of reading and evaluating a script compared with the finished version of the film’s release. It came to me while I was watching Brokeback Mountain - a film I enjoyed more than actually reading the script.

As a screenwriter, this interested me greatly and taught me a valuable lesson that what you slave over with on the page (as a writer, and a reader) can be greatly enhanced by the cast and crew’s effort to make it come alive on screen. When I first started script reading in 1999, I fell into the easy trap of thinking that every script was rubbish, and immediately felt superior to everything I read which was reflected in my haughty critique.

Nowadays, I am far less destructive of people’s scripts and like to think that my reports are constructive and discerning in that I try to grasp the writer’s point-of-view or intention when presenting the story in their chosen fashion. It’s an ideal world scenario of course because scripts are so subjective and hit-and-miss because of their specific form and content.

The vast majority of scripts I’ve read I have rejected but a good handful have made it to the cinema to enjoy healthy returns at the box office. And so now we come to The Matador, written and directed by Richard Shephard and starring Pierce Brosnan and Greg Kinnear. Apparently, Mr Shephard sent Pierce Brosnan the script as a sample so he could write Thomas Crown Affair 2 but Brosnan’s production company (Irish Dreamtime) thought it was too good a sample to pass up, so they decided to make it themselves.

This is where I beg to differ. At least at the script stage anyway. I’ve yet to see the film but James Moran reliably informs me that the film is a good laugh and solid entertainment, and defies the cinematic oxymoron of the ‘comedy thriller’.

I read the script in April 2003 when Matthew Broderick was being touted for the Greg Kinnear role. Here’s what I thought (spoilers etc):

“The concept for this film isn’t bad and sets up neat expectations of a tricky thriller about an ordinary guy who gets involved with a ruthless hitman. When the hitman comes to the guy’s home looking for help, the guy is forced to take part in the hitman’s next target.

This situation has a fair amount of intrigue and dramatic possibility but unfortunately, the story throws away its potential to favour a weak plot about a hitman who develops a conscience and an ordinary guy who becomes his friend. The plot introduces the two lead characters and their particular situation, and as they become unlikely friends, the story raises obvious dramatic expectations about what is going to happen. Danny, the ordinary guy, befriends Julian, the ruthless hitman, in Mexico and you just know that their friendship is going to have serious repercussions for Danny.

However, the plot curiously avoids cranking up the drama and thriller elements of the story, and Danny’s life does not get threatened as initially anticipated. Instead, the film’s tone falters between light and dark moments, and the developing friendship between Danny and Julian becomes more and more unconvincing. This is largely because of the weak characterisation assigned to the cast.

As the lead character, Julian Noble, the hitman, does not effectively make the transition from ruthless killer into guilt ridden murderer, and Danny’s set up as an insecure, cash strapped husband seemed convenient and unlikely because his wife Bean was such a nice and supporting wife. Danny and Julian’s repartee didn’t have an engaging spark and the humorous or light attempts didn’t really blend in well with the mood of the film. The plot develops in an improbable fashion, which leads to a disappointing finale.

The film’s structure is quite poor because of the plot’s improbable developments. The opening sequences were fine and likeable but the crucial progress of the second act failed to move the characters and situation forward in a convincing manner. After Julian asks for Danny’s help in his next assignment, Julian tries to apologise for the offer but Danny won’t let him in to his hotel room.

Then the script jumps to six months later where Julian is in Venice to bump off his next target but he bundles the job and the plot jumps to two weeks later where Julian disrupts Danny’s marital bliss to ask for help because Danny owes him one from Mexico. A flashback reveals that Danny asked Julian to kill off his business rival so Danny could get his finances back on track. All this was poorly dealt with and Danny and Bean’s welcoming reaction to Julian didn’t make a whole lot of sense.

Presumably, Pierce Brosnan is destined for the role of Julian Noble while (possibly) Matthew Broderick will take the mild mannered part of Danny Wright. However, it would be more interesting if the reverse were true – Broderick to be the hitman and Brosnan for the salesman role – as this might add a twist and appeal to what’s on offer.

Unfortunately, what is on offer isn’t all that great. The film has some good moments but the film takes on a too light approach to its subject and setting, and the proper development of two characters in this situation is not decently followed through. There are laudable attempts to keep the action and pace going at an agreeable level but the story loses its appeal because of the shaky developments.

There’s not enough character insight or development, and only perfunctory efforts are made to give the characters an emotional root. This may make a fleeting appearance at the box office but ultimately it is unlikely to leave a lasting impression.”

Nice People

There are three key attributes that most people think they possess. One: a good taste in music. Two: a good sense of humour. And three: a good judge of character. Mind you, there’s an all-important fourth: good taste in the opposite sex.

We can’t all be right though, can we? Beethoven’s Fourth Movement of his Ninth Symphony will be majestic to some but dull and pointless to others. For those who cannot watch a Monty Python sketch without enduring physical howls of laughter will only watch in blank awe at the returning power of My Family. And the classification of someone being a ‘babe’ will always be hotly disputed by horny teens everywhere.

But what about being a good judge of character? We all possess this trait, don’t we? At least, we’re fairly sure we do. The thing is, the world is full of nice people. Despite the atrocities and avarice all around the globe, the population of normal and polite civilians far outweigh those of a political or nefarious attitude.

Within the small circle of our lives, we will come into contact with a wide host of these normal and polite civilians. Some will be normal, polite and dull, others will be normal, polite and work in the film industry. And to make it in the world of showbiz, and in particular screenwriting, these are the people we want as our friends.

This doesn’t make us selfish or rude, far from it. In an industry where a smile and a handshake will get you a gig above the quality of your work, it is positively encouraged. It is not disingenuous for screenwriters to try to be friendly to those who hold the power. Those who feel awkward about insincere attempts to impress people they wouldn’t normally be seen dead with shouldn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. It’s part of the job. Network. Smile. Be normal, polite. And creative.

Still, there are times when you feel you connect with someone because they share your sense of passion and work ethic, and you admire their commitment and personality. Just look at what a blog can do. In my link sidebar, I’ve met friends, colleagues and mentors who are great people and inspirational scribes in equal measure.

It’s with this emotional connection that positive friendships and developments occur, and mainly because they mirror some facet of your own personality that you cherish and uphold. Perhaps this sounds a little trite but let me try to put it into context.

Last Friday, I had a meeting with a producer whom I very much like and we talked about my latest script (not the one I did in four days, the one I completed before Christmas). Of course, he has no money but I like his style and what he has to say, he has a genuine and honest passion for scripts, and this makes me feel more positive and energised about doing something together rather than being steamrollered by a bigger studio.

On the way home, I got thinking about a lovely script editor I worked with who’s now got a great job for the BBC and I thought: she was great, I hope she’s doing well, I hope we get to work together again. And I thought of another script editor I liked, also at the Beeb, and again the same notion: I felt I made a good connection with them, they’re probably very busy and doing very well.

When I got home, I pressed ‘play’ on my answerphone and would you believe it, there was a message from one of the script editors, wanting to have a chat! Talk about freaky! He didn’t say what he wanted to chat about but he got me all a jitter as my mind tried to fathom why he would be calling (I literally hadn’t spoken to him in a year).

All weekend my brain worked overtime as it went from “he wants to offer me work” to “he wants to have a go at me for something I’ve said on the blog” to “god jesus, what does he want?” Turns out he wanted to hook me up with a director who’s thinking of making a short film. Phew.

Today, I have a meeting about an animation pilot that me and Sam are going to write and that came about because I was on the Mesh judging panel last year, and I struck it off with one of the jurors, who just happened to have a project that he wanted to get off the ground with the help of a couple of writers…

Excellent stuff. All because of a positive contact and more importantly, a friendly connection.

So go well. And be nice.

Q&A: Matthew Graham

Not with me. The BBC’s microsite for Life on Mars throws a bunch of viewers' questions at Matthew Graham, co-creator and lead writer on the show. Check it out HERE.

Screenwriting Signposts

The more you learn about storytelling and structure as a screenwriter, the more you can identify the various techniques used in films and scripts everywhere you go. Where once an audience would remain blissfully ignorant as they let the story wash over them, now everyone has become a disdainful critic because of the basic application and location of tried and tested storytelling habits.

Unfortunately, the so-called ‘rules’ that are generated and accepted regarding screenwriting are creating a sense of ‘must write a script in this way’ but what is not properly understood about these screenplay fundamentals is that they are common ideals that will help you realise your story but should not overly-dictate the organic form of the narrative. And so, scripts follow the three-act structure to an efficient tee but sadly don’t provide any emotional or dramatic heart to their framework.

Despite what the box office receipts might scarily declare as the weekend’s number one film, audiences are a very clever and sophisticated bunch. And they share your knowledge of screenplay and story fundamentals so that if you present them with a basic premise, they can easily figure out what’s going to happen next - plot point to act break to mid-point to climax to resolution. It’s quite tempting to follow the three-act template and feel quite pleased that the story hits all the required marks but more often than not what happens is that the script is a bland and predictable affair that won’t excite or interest anyone.

Storytelling has increasingly become about defying predictability. Setting up one expectation and delivering something else. If the outcome to a film is clear from the beginning (good guy beats bad guy, girl and boy end up together), then it’s up to the writer to deliver a story worth sticking around for to make it more satisfying when the predictable end comes around (Lord of the Rings, Jerry Maguire etc).

There are certain times at the cinema where I lose all sense of mentally ticking off the structure of the film and instead get lost in the characters and story. It doesn’t happen very often but when it does occur, I’m left hugely impressed by the writer/director’s talent, and greatly entertained and satisfied with the story.

Let’s take Jerry Maguire for a second.

** SPOILERS AHEAD **
When I first saw it at the flicks, I was completely thrown. The opening sequence alone is quite odd and distinctive, and I was immediately sucked into Jerry’s world. And then he has his memo epiphany and is applauded for his work and then he’s fired. But he manages to hold on to one client and a humble secretary and he goes from there.

In retrospect, the narrative could probably be easily be dissected into a three-act frame (getting fired being the ‘inciting incident’ maybe but who cares) but my initial response to the story was: “I don’t know where I am and I don’t know what’s going to happen. This is original, interesting and funny”. The story continues to advance in original and surprising ways: the way the Cruiser proposes to Renee is a very unromantic scene and the doubts raised about their relationship during their wedding reception made me feel uncomfortable. Just what was this story doing? The guy gets the girl, surely the film’s over?

Thank god for Cuba Gooding Jnr and the adorable kid, they made the story a lot of fun, but there was so much uncomfortable emotion being shared between Tom and Renee’s characters that I was completely sucked into the world of the story and wanted to know what was going to happen next. Writer/director Cameron Crowe had made them ‘real’ and had provided them with multi-dimensions of complex character behaviour. And then the corny: “You complete me” gets a great pay-off and she gets the line that’s still quoted in many different guises today: “You had me at hello”, and voila, instant classic.

** END SPOILERS **

Anyway, the point is: avoid the obvious signposts of screenplay structure. It’s easy to set up and build a story around the basic three-act template but it’s better to try to defy expectation and avoid predictability at every stage. A screenplay is not a blueprint for a film (someone once said: “I’ve never seen a blueprint that had emotion in it”) but a script written to the design of the template rather than the intentions of the writer becomes a blueprint, and that’s when criticisms and problems occur for writers everywhere.

That’s why we get treated so badly. People in power have instant ammunition to dismiss our work. That’s why we must strive for better stories that have their own sense of style and structure but ultimately tell a powerful story that’s emotional and dramatic and entertaining. That’s why we go to the cinema in the first place. Isn’t it?

Q&A: Ashley Pharoah

If you’ve been glued to BBC1 on Monday nights at 9pm for the last few weeks, chances are you’ve seen Ashley Pharoah’s name flash up on screen during the credits of the instant classic Life on Mars.

He’s one of the co-creators and co-writers along with legendary TV scribe Tony Jordan and the so-talented-it-hurts Matthew Graham. But that’s not all, Ashley has created no fewer than five successful returning drama series, including Where the Heart Is, the criminally underrated Life Support, Down to Earth and Paradise Heights, as well as recently adapting Tom Brown’s Schooldays and Under the Greenwood Tree for ITV.

He seems to never stop working and he’s a darn nice bloke to boot. So how does he do it? Let’s ask him…

Hello!

How did the idea for Life on Mars come about with co-creators Tony Jordan and Matthew Graham?

About eight years ago the production company KUDOS sent the three of us off to a hotel in Blackpool for a long weekend with the brief to come up with some series ideas. We had all just written on CITY CENTRAL and didn't fancy doing another cop show but somehow we got talking about THE SWEENEY and thought it would be amusing to see a techno modern cop in the seventies. It all mushroomed from that core idea.


How long did it take to get off the ground and was it always intended for the Beeb or was it taken to Kudos first?

Kudos put the three of us together. We pitched it to then controller of BBC1 who had some reservations but commissioned Matthew to write a script. After a few drafts the BBC decided to pass on the project. But a BBC producer called John Yorke always liked the idea and when he went to C4 he took the project with him. Matthew wrote dozens of versions of the first episode and we were just about to get a green light when C4 got cold feet and rejected it. By now, though, Julie Gardner was at BBC Wales so Kudos took it to her and she loved it and managed to persuade the powers that be that it was worth making.


How did you divide up the writing duties - did you have a writers’ room, or was it more of an organic meeting process between you, Kudos and the Beeb?

The three writers storylined it with Jane Featherstone and Claire Parker from Kudos. That was a lot of fun. Because C4 had turned it down I'd got myself booked up and could only write one episode, so Matthew became lead writer and executive producer. It's an interesting series in that it can accommodate different writers' voices so we chose the episodes closest to our hearts and went from there.


Can you give us any hints at what might happen to Sam and the Gene Genie in series two of Life on Mars?

If I knew I would! We're only just starting the writing period now. Suffice to say there will be lots of homo-erotic bonding in grim Manchester pubs.


As a creator of a number of returning TV series, what tips would you give to writers who think they’ve got a cracking idea for a new drama?

One way is to think to yourself what would episode 8 of series 3 be like. In other words, does your idea have "legs"? Is there enough conflict in the premise to throw up endless future storylines? Otherwise it might work better as a serial or movie.


What do you think of the UK TV market for new writers?

I think it's pretty exciting. A lot of drama on a lot of channels, all looking for new talent. It's always difficult to break in but I think it's easier now than it's ever been. IF you're good!


Do you write spec feature scripts or are you having too much fun writing for TV?

Haven't written a spec one in years. I've got a commissioned one floating around the place trying to attract money. But I'm so busy at the moment in television that I simply don't have time for spec movies. Maybe one day. Also, you have so much more influence as a writer in TV than you do in film - it would be hard to give that up.


Would you/have you ever consider Hollywood?

Only if invited! Never fancied being one of those taxi driver-writers who infest LA, desperate for a break. I've spoken to some Hollywood writers and they rather envy us our ability to write lots of different stuff - adaptations; thrillers; serials; series etc. I'm pretty happy where I am. And they don't have cider in LA.


Are you attached to a particular production company or do you prefer to be a freelance writer available to anyone?

I love being freelance. Recently I've worked mostly with Kudos, Company Pictures and Ecosse because I admire the people there. But I'm idea led, and will go anywhere.


How difficult was it getting your career off the ground?

It was both easy and difficult! The first script I ever wrote when I was 20 (a radio play) got bought by the BBC. I went to film school and my graduation film got nominated for a Bafta. I got movie commissions and then... nothing! For years. On the dole, confidence seeping away. Then I got myself a gig on EASTENDERS and it all started again.


If you weren’t a screenwriter, what else would you be?

Absolutely no idea! I'd probably be wearing a crumpled linen suit and teaching English in Bulawayo or something. I'm unemployable as I've only ever wanted to be a writer.


What’s your favourite TV shows (that you don’t write)?

I'm really enjoying BOSTON LEGAL at the moment. THE WEST WING. I was a very big fan of an Australian series from a few years back, SECRET LIFE OF US. If I was being honest it's probably the RUGBY CLUB on Sky!


And finally: dinner at the Ivy or quiet night in with a pizza?

There is something to be said for the Ivy's corned beef hash and a glass of Merlot but I'm a home bod, really.

Thanks Ashley!


***UPDATE***: You can read an extended Q&A session with Ashley, pre-Life on Mars, with the BBC Writers’ Room.